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Books by Mike Haskins

  • You Know You're 60 When...

    Mike Haskins

    Product Code: BSATK
    Hardback
    Congratulations! You're 60! You're halfway to being the oldest person who ever lived! But how much of the past 60 years can you remember? You've lived through the summer of love, the moon landings, Ronnie and Maggie, Den and Angie and the entire history of the internet. This is the quiz book that will give your 60-year-old brain cells a nostalgic workout to find out how much attention you were paying to the events, characters and fads of your lifetime. So what are you waiting for? Let's take a quizzical look back at your life.
    • £7.89
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  • How to Survive Being a Teacher

    Mike Haskins

    Product Code: BMJRI
    Hardback
    Class has begun! It's a new term and you can't wait for it to end. If only the holidays were longer... or school didn't exist. To get through it, you're going to need survival skills: Essential items: Headache pills, tranquillisers, stress ball, flare gun... Do power dress to show you're not to be messed with. Don't wear a Darth Vader costume. This mischievous little book will help see you through your years as a teacher with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
    • £6.89
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  • How to Survive Old Age

    Mike Haskins

    Product Code: CAZGB
    Hardback
    For years, you wanted to be treated like a proper adult, but now you are on a downhill slippery slope to a grand old age and you can't seem to find the brakes. You need survival skills: Don't compare yourself to the Botox-happy celebrities who are your age - wear your lines with pride. Do remember where your glasses/keys are to avoid raised eyebrows from family members. This mischievous little book will help you enjoy your latter years with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
    • £5.59
    • RRP £6.99
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  • Wrinklies Bedside Companion

    Mike Haskins

    Product Code: BYIQU
    Hardback
    Wrinklies' Bedside Companion contains everything that the greying generation needs to know about the world, and quite a lot that they don't. Specially designed to live on your bedside table, or wherever you prefer to nap, and to provide light relief before sleep, be a source of interesting quotes and facts for insomniac Wrinklies or serve as a one-stop quote shop for all things that those of you with plenty of life experience will find amusing. Full of short, jokey pieces looking at various aspects of life from a Wrinklies' point of view. These pieces are quirky, satirical, imaginative and above all very funny. They are of course specially designed to appeal to the older reader by tapping into their interests, attitudes, opinions, experience, health problems and the like.
    • £7.99
    • RRP £9.99
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  • Help! The Grandchildren are Coming

    Mike Haskins

    Product Code: BXIXA
    Hardback
    Knock, knock. Who's there? The grandchildren. It's one of the few phrases guaranteed to fill you with both delight and dread - the grandchildren are coming! Of course you love to see them, but what do you do with them for the next few hours - or even days? Thankfully, this book is here to guide you through. Choose from a whole host of delights: Games old and new Magic tricks that even you won't be able to mess up Jokes that will make you the first sit-down stand-up comedian The hours will fly by and, with any luck, you'll have just as much fun as they do!
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    • RRP £9.99
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  • Wrinklies Growing Old Disgracefully

    Mike Haskins

    Product Code: BTOEP
    Hardback
    Growing older doesn't mean you have to grow up! If you're the sort of golden oldie who still likes to party hard, chats up strangers in bars, listens to loud music (and not because your hearing is going), or dresses so outrageously that your grandchildren beg you to "tone it down", then this book is for you. Full of irreverent advice on how to misbehave and put the younger generation to shame, Wrinklies Growing Old Disgracefully is a hilarious celebration of mis-spent seniority, written by two successful comedy sketch writers.
    • £9.89
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  • How to Survive Being a Dog Owner

    Mike Haskins

    Product Code: BOGGT
    Hardback
    You won't find a more loyal and loveable friend than you will in your dog. But if you're going to cope with its boundless energy, its insatiable appetite and its total disregard for social niceties, you're going to need survival skills: Think positively: You will get more exercise than ever before (whether you like it or not) Reassure yourself: The `mad puppy' behaviour should wear off after 15 years or so. This mischievous little book will help guide you through your role as a dog owner with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
    • £6.89
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  • How to Survive Being a Cat Owner

    Mike Haskins

    Product Code: BOGGR
    Hardback
    Cats are cuddly, furry, purry and loveable. They also happen to be the keepers of their own destiny - and utterly untrainable. So, if you're going to make it as a cat owner, you're going to need survival skills: Reassure yourself: You'll never have a more loyal companion (as long as you're feeding it) Think positively: If the cat claws holes in your curtains, at least it wasn't your legs. This mischievous little book will help see you through your years as a cat owner with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
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  • How to Survive Being a Doctor

    Mike Haskins

    Product Code: BMJRH
    Hardback
    What seems to be the problem? Doctors have one of the most rewarding jobs in the world. But if you're going to be faced with the horrors of yellow toenails, highly contagious rashes and humans in general when they're feeling their worst, you're going to need survival skills: Think positively: At least you aren't suffering from these ailments. Well, at least not yet... Reassure yourself: One day you will be able to retire - assuming you live that long. This mischievous little book will help see you through your years as a doctor with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
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  • So You're 40

    Mike Haskins

    Product Code: BJLOP
    Hardback
    You may never now become a rock star or regain the waist size you had at 18. You have taken a sudden interest in bleeding your radiators and figuring out the best route by road to anywhere in the country. On the bright side, you can feel smug that you have better grammar than a university student and don't have to dig out your embarrassing passport photo to get into pubs or buy alcohol.
    • £4.89
    • RRP £4.99
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  • So You're 60

    Mike Haskins

    Product Code: BJLMT
    Hardback
    Your life may now consist of sleeping during sex instead of after it and going to more funerals than weddings. On the bright side, you can get away with making no effort whatsoever to lose weight. And all those charities you gave to - it's payback time!
    • £5.09
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  • Wrinklies Joke Book

    Mike Haskins

    Product Code: BGZVG
    Hardback
    This sparkling collection of golden age wit and wisdom is proof-positive that the stereotypes of knitting grannies and doddering granddads just aren't true anymore - if, indeed, they ever were. Senior citizens are not going gentle into that good night. They're still out there, living life to the full, taking selfies, "silver surfing" the net and showing the rest of us how to grow up and grow old disgracefully. Because as Maurice Chevalier said, "Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative." This is a joke book specifically designed for oldies, so look out you young whippersnappers - you probably won't get half of them!
    • £8.29
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  • How to Survive Retirement

    Mike Haskins

    Product Code: BGPQO
    Hardback
    Freedom at last! But there's an awfully long time between cornflakes and cocoa, and a limit to how many sudokus you can do. You need survival skills: FINANCIAL WIZARDRY: how to get three cups of tea out of one bag. SPARKLING CONVERSATION: 300 different ways to discuss the weather. This mischievous little book will help you enjoy your golden years with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
    • £6.89
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  • How to Survive University

    Mike Haskins

    Product Code: BGPQN
    Hardback
    At last, no more parents! But who's going to do your washing, and bail you out when you're short of cash? Hmm, you're going to need survival skills: * Think positively: don't think of it as a student loan, think of it as the government's round (every night for three years). * Do try to sleep well. Don't do it during lectures. This mischievous little book will help you see through your university years with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
    • £6.49
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  • How to Survive a Midlife Crisis

    Mike Haskins

    Product Code: BGPCG
    Hardback
    Finally, you're a proper grown-up! But between the paunch and the mortgage, you're starting to wonder if this is what you really want. You need midlife crisis survival skills: * Stop calling it a midlife crisis and start calling it Teenagehood part 2. * Do go to the gym occasionally. Don't train to join the Olympic weightlifting team. This mischievous little book will help you enjoy your second youth with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
    • £5.59
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  • So You're a Grandparent!

    Mike Haskins

    Product Code: BGKTS
    Hardback
    It's the best of times and the worst of times. You're welcoming a new addition to the family, but you're now officially old. You're also an eternal babysitter. On the plus side, you can enjoy spoiling the little darlings rotten and hand them back at the end of the day before the nappies start overflowing.
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  • 3000 Jokes, 2997 Laughs

    Mike Haskins

    Product Code: BANOF
    Paperback
    An enormous collection of over 3,000 side-splitting jokes for every occasion. Jokes range from quick-fire one-liners and observations to rambling yarns, and from the classic to the modern. This book contains quips for every occasion, from the best man's speech to the sales conference to the children's party, or just for swapping around the pub table, and it's arranged by subject matter so it's easy to find just the right joke. This hilarious book will appeal both to people who want to find a specific joke for a specific event, and to anyone who wants to settle down in an armchair and have a good old laugh. Jokes include: * What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador. * What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus. * What did the slug say to the snail? 'Big Issue?' Word count: 200,000 words
    • £7.69
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  • How to Survive 50

    Mike Haskins

    Product Code: AWAOZ
    Hardback
    Brace yourself...50 is approaching! There's no denying it - you've officially got 'a few years' under your belt (and possibly a few extra notches on it). But don't trade your party gear for a pair of slippers just yet, because there's plenty more fun to be had. This cheerful little book, full of tongue-in-cheek advice, will help you carry on strutting your stuff for many years to come!
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  • How to Survive 40

    Mike Haskins

    Product Code: AWAOX
    Hardback
    Brace yourself...40 is approaching! Once your thirties are behind you, there are no excuses left - you're indisputably 'experienced', certifiably 'mature'. But don't trade that margarita for a mug of cocoa just yet, because there's plenty more fun to be had. This cheerful little book, full of tongue-in-cheek advice, will help keep your mojo working for many years to come!
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  • How to Survive 60

    Mike Haskins

    Product Code: AWAOW
    Hardback
    Brace yourself...60 is approaching! It's time to face the facts - even though you might not feel it, you're decidedly more O.A.P. than V.I.P. But don't trade your custard creams for the cod-liver oil just yet, because there's plenty more fun to be had. This cheerful little book, full of tongue-in-cheek advice, will put some swagger in your step for many years to come!
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  • So You're 65!

    Mike Haskins

    Product Code: AODRS
    Hardback
    You'll never be able to sing 'When I'm 64' again or complain about politicians being old and out of touch - they're now all younger than you and out of touch. However, look on the bright side: you've already outlived Mozart by 30 years and youngsters will seek your sage advice on how to play vinyl records. Not only that, you can boast that you still have to pay for your TV licence.
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